Praise be to Allah who created man from water, and has appointed for him kindred by blood, and kindred by marriage. I praise and thank Allah (Glory be to Him), as I bear witness that there is no god but Allah alone who has no partner and Who encompassed everything with His Knowledge. I bear witness that our master and Prophet Muhammad is His Servant and Messenger, who is the highest status among the people and the greatest rank. May Allah send peace and blessings upon him, his family, his Companions, his Followers, and those who follow him righteously until the Day of Recompense.
Dear honorable Muslims, in the previous lessons, we talked about number of due and important rights, however in this lesson, we shall talk about another important right which is marital rights. A Muslim family, in turn, should remember the rights due to every member in his family because family is built of coherent blocks, on strong basis, and on strong fundamentals.
In this topic, we shall speak about the root and the core of the family which are: A husband and a wife whose relationship is based on intimacy and mercy. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect."
Dear Muslim brother, family has a great status in Islam and Islam has taken care of it greatly and identified the relationship between man and woman, as it showed the function of each one of them and explained in detail the mutual rights and the due rights. A family is the abode for housing, tranquility, comfort, and stability.
A family is the abode of an individual, in which souls are gathered for intimacy, mercy, immunity, purification, good living, and protection. In the shade of a family, childhood is tendered, children are reared, family relationships are maintained, and ties of solidarity become strong. In the atmosphere of family, souls are gathered and hearts are united. In the shade of a family, good qualities grow, men who are entrusted with great trusts rise, and women from honorable families rise and rear the generation on the good manners.
In the family sons and daughters are raised, the offspring learn, morals and good manners grow. In the family, which is a school, scholars, genius, and reformers who benefit themselves, their parents, and their nation are graduated.
This is one of the factors which made Islam care for marital rights.
The second factor is that the relationship between a husband and wife is continuous, not temporary or intermittent relationship tainted by material or worldly interests that is ephemeral, but it is a continuous relationship even after death.
The third factor is that family is the core of society, and the nucleus of the family is the couple. If they are good and pious, the community will be strong, pious, and coherent, in addition to the society will have a spectacular personality and praised qualities which it uses to protect itself against its enemies, and the false claims and plots will not affect it.
The fourth factor is very important in the explanation of these rights, which is: the quality of the relationship between the spouses is different from others because each one of them knows the secrets of the other. However, if the relationship is disturbed, problems and disputes will spread and cause the destruction of the family and the dissolution of its strong ties. Then evil will sneak to the family and the entire community will be affected by this evil. The family secrets are protected and preserved, if each of the spouses fulfills his or her rights and duties.
For these matters and others Islam has organized the family in a perfect way and detailed the rights and duties so that each family could be good and straight, and to raise up straight and righteous people.
Dear honorable Muslim, there are common rights involving both husband and wife, and there are rights due on each one of them.
As for the common rights of both spouses, they are as follows:
First and the most important is kind treatment which means intimacy, reconciliation, assembly, good treatment, love, and compassion. Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And live with them honorably."
Al Hafizh Ibn Kathir (may Allah be Merciful with his soul) said: The meaning is: choose good words, behave nicely, and prim up for them as you like them to prim up for you.
Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable"
Al Qurtuby (may Allah be Merciful with his soul) said: "The meaning is: They have the same rights as their husbands." Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The meaning is: They should enjoy good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as the duties due to them regarding their husbands."
Allah (Glory be to Him) says: "The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness."
Allah (Exalted be He) says: "And when you have divorced women and they are about to fulfill the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on reasonable basis or set them free on reasonable basis."
Kind treatment is a comprehensive word that means all good manners, morals, and kind treatment.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said -as was authentically reported-: "And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women."
It was authentically reported from the Prophet (peace be upon him) that he said: "The best among you is the one who treats his family kindly, and I am the best in treating my family."
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was kind to his family, joyful, joking with his family, be nice to them, give them more than their due expenses, laughs with his wives, and helps in family affairs. His biography was a practical application for the Shari`ah regarding the strong relationship between a husband and wife that Allah (Exalted be He) explained in His Saying: "And among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy."
Accordingly, both husband and wife should be keen to kind treatment, revive it, do whatever is possible to maintain it, and disregarding anything that may affect or spoil it.
Of the most important constituents of good treatment is:
Good choice for both husband and wife because each one of them shall be partner to the other. Good choice should be don according to the specifications that were determined by the Shari`ah regarding wife and husband which are: religion and morals. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said about women: "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about a husband: "If someone come to you of those whom you satisfy their religion and manners, let him marry, otherwise it will be a great sedition on earth and a corruption."
Of the factors of kind treatment is: Spreading love and mercy in the atmosphere of the family and to be the slogan of the relation among the family members, starting with the spouses.
Of the factors of kind treatment is: Each spouse should fulfill the due rights without negligence. If each one of them exerted efforts to fulfill their due rights, that would be a factor for kind treatment in this family atmosphere.
Of these factors also is the righteousness of each one of them in terms of their relationship with Allah (Glory be to Him). If the relationship between a person and his Lord is strong, the atmosphere will be filled with comfort, calmness, and weighing the matters with its correct Shari`ah balance.
Of these factors also is purifying the house from deniable things, faults, and things that spoil and disturb the relationship and may lead to the destruction of the entire family and threaten its security, peace, and stability because those evil acts and faults is the cause for opening the door for Satan to come and spoil the family. If Satan enters the family, it will corrupt the world and the religion as well.
Dear Muslims brother, when spouses understand and appreciate these rights, the family shall enjoy a nice atmosphere in which each member recalls the rights due on him or her which makes him or her fulfill it for the sake of Allah.
I ask Allah (Glory be to Him) to grant us sincerity and good manners, for He is All-Hearing, All-Responding and He is the One whose aid is to be implored.
We shall continue our speech in the next lesson in sha' Allah.