The recreational side of the Prophet's dealing with his wives
First, his approval of looking at permissible entertainments: This was
illustrated in the two following examples:
A- The Prophet permitted his family to look at permissible
entertainments on the Day of `Eid:
This is confirmed by the Hadith which `A'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) narrated: "...It was the day of `Eid, and the Black people
were playing with Daraq and spears; so either I requested the Prophet (peace be
upon him) or he asked me whether I would like to see the display. I replied in
affirmative. Then the Prophet (peace be upon him) made me stand behind him and
my cheek was touching his cheek and he was saying, "Carry on! O Banu Arfidah,”
until I got tired. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked me, "Are you satisfied
(Is that sufficient for you)?" I replied in the affirmative and he told me to
leave."
Al Hafizh ibn Hajar said: "The Hadith is a proof on the
permissibility of looking at permissible entertainments. The Hadith is also a
proof on the good manners of the Prophet (peace be upon him) with his family and
his kind treatment toward them."
B- Examples of permissible entertainment: The Prophet
permitted his family to look at permissible entertainments in other than the Day
of `Eid:
This was confirmed by the Hadith of `A'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) who narrated: “When the delegation of Ethiopia came to Allah's
Messenger (peace be upon him), they were playing in the masjid (displaying their
skill with spears). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was screening me with his
Rida’ (garment covering the upper part of the body) while I was looking at the
Ethiopians who were playing in the courtyard of the Masjid. (I continued
watching) until I was satisfied. So you may deduct from this event how a little
girl (who has not reached the age of puberty) who is eager to enjoy amusement
should be treated in this respect."
In another narration, she said: “Once I saw Allah’s Messenger
(peace be upon him) at the door of my house while some Ethiopians were playing
in the Masjid (displaying their skill with spears).”
In another narration, she said: “The Messenger of Allah
(peace be upon him) was sitting when we heard clamor and voices of children. The
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) stood up and saw an Ethiopian young girl
was dancing and boys were around her. Thereupon, he said: O `A'ishah, come and
see. So, I came and placed my chin on the Prophet's shoulder so I could see her
from the area between his shoulder and head. He said to me: Are not satisfied,
Are not satisfied? She said: I kept on saying: no, so I can see my status to
him. `Umar showed up. The narrator said: The people Arfada . She said: The
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: I could see that the devils of
human and jinn fled when they saw `Umar. She said: Then, I went back.”
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said on
that day: “So that the Jews would know that we have a room for entertainment in
our religion because I was sent with pure and easy religion.”
There is another Hadith shows some words which the people of
Abyssinia used to say in their entertainments. It was reported in the Hadith of
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that some Abyssinians came before the
Prophet (peace be upon him) and spoke of words that he did not understand. Anas
said: O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), what did they say? He said: They
say: Muhammad is a good servant.
Al Hafizh ibn Hajar deducted from the narration of: "when the
delegation of Abyssinia came to the Messenger Allah (peace be upon him)" that
the mentioned accident took place after the conquest of Khaybar and after the
arrival of Ja`far ibn Abu Talib to Madinah. It is well-known that the conquest
of Khaybar was in the month of Maharram (the first month of the Islamic
Calendar) in the seventh year after Hijrah (migration from Makkah to Madinah). I
depended on the above-mentioned Hadith in proving that the Prophet (peace be
upon him) permitted his family to look at permissible entertainments in other
than the Day of `Eid.
The first example was the looking of `A'ishah at the Sudanese
who were playing on the Day of `Eid. The second example was a proof that
`A'ishah looked at the Abyssinians while playing with their spears but with no
indication that the accident took place on the Day of `Eid; do the two
narrations refer to one story?
This is possible. However, I suggest they are two different
stories. The mentioned “play” took place twice: once on the Day of `Eid by the
Sudanese and the second time at the arrival of Ja`far after the conquest of
Khaybar depending on the narration of Ibn Hibban which reads: "When the
delegation of Abyssinia came." It seems to me that it was the delegation which
came with Ja`far ibn Abu Talib (may Allah be pleased with him) because of his
saying: "They stood up to play." The proof is the narration of Anas that the
Abyssinians were dancing and speaking with ambiguous words that he did not
understand.
This shows that they were visitors of Madinah and not
inhabitants.
* * *
Second, from the examples to the recreational side is the Prophet's approval to
his family to hear permissible singing of slave girls on the Day `Eid:
The proof to that is the Hadith of `A’ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) entered
upon me [on the Day of `Eid-ul-Fitr or `Eid-ul-Adha] while two small Ansari
girls were singing beside me the stories of the Ansar concerning the Day of
Bu`ath. [She said: And they were not professional singers.] He lied on the bed
and turned away his face. Abu Bakr came in and rebuked me. He said: "Musical
instruments of Satan in the house of Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)! "
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came to him and said: "[O Abu Bakr!
Let them. There is an `Eid for every nation and this is our `Eid]. " When Abu
Bakr became inattentive, I waved the two girls to go away and they left.”
Al Hafizh ibn Hajar (may Allah be merciful with him) said:
"This Hadith contains many useful references: Gentleness — when treating women,
gaining their intimacy, showing happiness in Muslim festivals — is one of the
mottos of our religion, the permissibility of giving more expenditure for
children during the days of `Eid to make them happy, and taking rest from the
acts of worship by entertaining oneself.
The Hadith also contains a proof to the permissibility of
listening to the voice of slave girls while singing even if they are not in your
possession because the Prophet (peace be upon him) did not object to Abu Bakr
when he heard their singing, but objected to his objection itself. The two slave
girls kept on singing until `A'ishah waved to them to leave. It is well-known
that it is permissible to listen to them if sedition will not prevail.”
The meaning of his saying: "They were not singers" i.e., they
do not know how to sing like the professional singers. This is a good reference
(of her) to exclude professional singings that arouse feelings and emotions. If
this kind of non-professional singing contains poetry that describes the
beauties of women, wine, and other prohibited matters, there is an agreement
(among scholars) to its prohibition.
Imam Al Muhallab ibn Ahmad ibn Abu Sufrah: "The people of
Madinah used to see no harm in singing (before the prohibition of singing),
however the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Abu Bakr did not see that therefore,
Abu Bakr objected to the two singers who were in the house of `A'ishah because
he did not see them before in the presence of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave concession to (permissible) singing during
the days of `Eid and during the banquets of announcing marriage.”
* * *
Third, his approval to women to accompany other women and have (permissible) fun
with them:
Form these examples, the Hadith of `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who
said: “I used to play with (female dolls) in the presence of the Prophet, (peace
be upon him) and my girl friends also used to play with me. When Allah's
Messenger (peace be upon him) entered (my dwelling place) they used to hide
themselves , but the Prophet (peace be upon him) would call them to join and
play with me.”
Al Hafizh ibn Hajar said:
“The Hadith is a proof to the permissibility of buying dolls
to girls and playing with them; this was excluded from the general prohibition
of buying statues. This is also the view of `Iyad who reported the view of the
majority of scholars in this regard.”
It is good to denote that Imam Al Bukhari (may Allah be
merciful with him) mentioned this Hadith under the title: "Chapter on showing
leniency to people"
Ibn Mas`ud said: "Associate with people without affecting
your religion." Then he said: and be funny with your family.
This is a delicate deduction from the Hadith and he wanted to
say: This Hadith signifies the permissibility of being funny with one's family.
(Being funny means: saying nice words and having sense of humor).
It is worth mentioning that `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased
with her) used to play with dolls and used to shape them in funny forms. The
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) also used to be funny with her and share
her laughter. The proof to that is the Hadith of `A'ishah who said: When the
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) arrived after the expedition to Tabuk or
Khaybar (the narrator is doubtful), the draught raised an end of a curtain which
was hung in front of her store-room (in Sahwatiha), revealing some dolls which
belonged to her. He asked: What is this? She replied: My dolls. Among them he
saw a horse with wings made of rags (Riqa`), and asked: What is this I see among
them? She replied: A horse. He asked: What is this that it has on it? She
replied: Two wings. He asked: A horse with two wings? She replied: Have you not
heard that Solomon had horses with wings? She said: Thereupon the Apostle of
Allah (peace be upon him) laughed so heartily that I could see his molar teeth.
* * *
Fourth, Physical exercise:
One of the manifestations of the Prophet's kind treatment
with his family in the recreational side is: physical exercise with his wives.
For example, racing:
The proof is the Hadith of `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased
with her) that she was with the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) on a
journey while she was a young girl. She said: I was not fleshy, then he said to
his Companions: (proceed) and so they did.
Then he said to me: (Come so I can race you). I outstripped
him on my feet. After a while, when I came out with him on a journey, he said to
his Companions: (proceed). Then he said: (Come so I can race you). I forgot what
had happened before and I became fleshy. She said: O Messenger of Allah, how can
I race you and I became fleshy? He said: (you will do that). So, I raced him,
but he beat me. He laughed and said: (this time for the previous time (in which
you had beaten me)).
The Hadith signifies the kind treatment of the Prophet (peace
be upon him) with his family. It also indicates the permissibility of physical
sport to one's wife if these exercises are disciplined by Shari`ah rulings
because they activate one's organs, relieve oneself, exhort to activism, and
remove boredom and ponderosity.
* * *
Fifth, the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to take his wives during his travels
and used to have chat with them:
Examples of the recreational side: The Prophet (peace be upon
him) used to take his wives with him in his travels, walk with them at night,
and chat with them.
The proof to that is what `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with
her) reported that “Whenever Allah's Messenger intended to go on a journey, he
used to draw lots amongst his wives. At that time, the lot fell on `A'ishah and
Hafsah and the prophet (peace be upon him) used to chat with `A'ishah at night.
Hafsah said: would you ride my camel tonight and I ride yours so that you can
see (different views) and I can see (different views too). She said: Yes, sure.
She rode, then the Prophet (peace be upon him) came to the camel of `A'ishah
which carried Hafsah greeted her (and chatted with her) until they stopped; at
that time `A'ishah missed him..."
Benefits gained from this Hadith:
A person should take his wife (or wives) in his travels and
choose the proper circumstances to facilitate her (or their) journey with him.
Many husbands, who live in the Islamic communities, have lost this Prophetic
etiquette these days. Man got used to live during his travels as well as his
residence alone and women used to live their life separately away from their
husbands very often. This action has many bad consequences on the Muslim
families and will lead to breaking the relationship and to separation.
A Muslim should follow the Prophetic guidance in this regard
because taking his family on journeys, walking with them at night, and chatting
with them have great effects in increasing harmony, intimacy, and understanding
in between.
From the Jurisprudential rulings deducted from this Hadith
are:
The permissibility of drawing lots when distributing
something among partners. This view was adopted by the majority, but the Maliki
school of Fiqh disagreed to that because they had another view concerning this
Hadith. Al-Qurtuby (may Allah be merciful with him) said: This should be
different according to the type of women. The permissibility of drawing lots is
permissible when their types are the same in order not to give preference to one
of them without reason.
They justified their view by saying: Some women may be useful
in travel than others, so if lots went to those who are not useful in travel, it
will be harmful to men and vice-versa, some women may be more useful for the
house than others.
I said: This disagreement is strong in regard to the one who
is married than two women such as marrying four women. As for those who married
two women, he may take one wife at a time on journey. As for those who are
married to one woman, they are not concerned with this disagreement.
It should be mentioned here that the Prophet (peace be upon
him) was extremely pitiful for his family in travel.
From the manifestations of his pity, mercy, and tender is
that he used to prepare a soft place for them to sit on during the journey, and
he used to put his knees for them to mount on. The proof is the Hadith that was
reported from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: “…Then we set
out for Madinah (returning from Khaybar) I saw the Prophet (peace be upon him)
covering her with a cloak while she was behind him. Then he would sit beside his
camel and let Safiya put her feet on his knees to ride (the camel)…”
From the manifestations of his pity for his family in travel
that he (peace be upon him) commanded the one who drove camels to go easy with
them. The proof to that was reported in the Hadith of Anas (may Allah be pleased
with him) that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was on a journey and took with
him a Jewish boy, who was called Anjashah, and was driving camels [and he had a
nice voice]. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "O Anjashah, go easy with
flasks."
The meaning is: Be gentle with (flasks) i.e., women.
Al Khattaby (may Allah be merciful with him) said: Anjashah
was black and he was driving camels violently, therefore, he commanded him to be
gentle. It was said: He had a nice voice and used to sing while driving camels,
so the Prophet (peace be upon him) disliked that women would listen to him
singing because sweet voices move emotions. Therefore, he likened their weak
determinations and of being susceptible to flasks which are fragile. Ibn Battal
hold the first meaning, whereas Abu `Ubaydah Al Harawy and Al Qady `Ayyad hold
the second view and Al Qurtuby permitted both things. He said: He likened them
with flasks because of being susceptible and persistence, so he got feared for
them because of quick-marching: falling, feeling pain from the frequent
movement, and the disturbance resulting from the speed or feared for them to be
affected by sedition if they listen to the anthem.
Combining between these views is good and reasonable.
* * *
Six,
his approval of amusement, fun, and smiling at his wives:
From the examples of the recreational side: the Prophet's approval of amusement
and smiling at his wives:
This was approved by the Hadith of `A'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) who said: “One day Sawdah visited us. The Messenger of Allah
(peace be upon him) sat between me and her: one of his feet was in my lap while
the other was in her lap. So, I made Harirah (soup cooked from flour, fat and
water) and I said: eat. However, she refused. I said: You eat or I shall taint
your face, but she refused. Thereupon, I took a piece of it and tainted her face
with. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) lifted his leg from her lap so
that she could take revenge of me. She took a piece from the plate and tainted
my face with while the Messenger Allah (peace be upon him) was laughing…”
It is well-known that Sawdah had a good relationship with
`A'ishah because she was of her party. The proof is the Hadith which `A’ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the wives of Allah's Messenger
(peace be upon him) were divided into two groups. One group consisted of
`A’ishah, Hafsah, Safiyyah and Saudah; and the other group consisted of Um
Salamah and the other wives of Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him). She was
the one who denoted the day which she used to spend with the Messenger of Allah
to `A'ishah, so it is not strange that they joke with one another like this in
the presence of the Prophet (peace be upon him) while he was laughing at their
situations.
From the examples of his sense of humor and smiling at them
is the Hadith which `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) reported that the
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) came back from a funeral in Baqi` and
found me having a headache, saying "O my head". Thereupon, he said: "It is me
`A'ishah who is complaining of headache." Then he said: "What will happen if you
die before me, then I stood up, washed you, shroud you, offer Salah on you, and
buried you?" She said: I think if I die, you will go back home to spend the
night with one of your wives. She said: The Prophet (peace be upon him) smiled
then the pain because of which he died started.
No doubt that nice joking and sense of humor lead to removing
barriers, amusing oneself, and inculcating the seeds of friendship between
spouses.
Seventh, the Prophet's listening to witticism and social
news:
From the features of the Prophet's kindness in dealing with
his wives in the recreational side is listening to witticism from his wives:
The proof to that is the Hadith which `A'ishah (may Allah be
pleased with her) reported that “Eleven women gathered and pledged to describe
their husbands truly…"
Eight, The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to take them with
him to banquets and did not eat nice food without them:
From the manifestations of the Prophet's good treatment to
his wives is: he used to take his wives with him to banquets so that they could
share food with him, especially if the food is good.
The proof is the Hadith which Anas reported that a Persian neighbor to the
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was known for the good soup he prepared.
[His soup smelled good]. He made [some food] and came to invite the Prophet
(peace be upon him).
He said: And this is for `Aishah too?
He said: No.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Then the
answer is no.
Then, he repeated the invitation again. The Messenger of
Allah (peace be upon him) said: and this is for `A'ishah too?
He said: No.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Then the
answer is no.
Then, he repeated the invitation again. The Messenger of
Allah (peace be upon him) said: and this is for `A'ishah?
He said: Yes. (in the third time).
They stood up Yatadafa`an (following the steps of one
another) until they came to his house.
Imam an-Nawawy (may Allah bestow mercy on his soul) said:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) disliked to eat food without
her and this etiquette indicates his kind treatment, fulfilling the rights of
marriage, and one of the etiquettes of companionship.
Benefits taken from this Hadith: The Permissibility of seeking tasty soups, good
colored-food, and eating of the sustenance that Allah (Glory be to Him) has
granted to His Servants. Allah (May He be Exalted) says: "They said: Our Lord!
We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your
Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers." [Surat Al A`raf: 23].
This Hadith signifies the prominent picture of his good
morals toward his family, his great mercy, and showing emotion for them. Would
the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) leave his family to sit at a banquet
full of delicious food at his Persian neighbor? The Prophet's morals prevented
him from doing this.
As for the indication that `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased
with her) went with the Messenger of Allah not wearing veil and sat before the
Persian or families mixed together as is done these days with the Muslim
families (where religion has become of no significance for them in their lives),
it is not accepted and there is no reference in the Hadith to this.