7- Softness

No doubt, softness was a trait that was clearly evident in the life of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), through his sayings and actions. He used to say, "Softness is not put in anything except embellished it. And it isn't removed from anything except that it made it ugly."

Still, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was the most soft to his wives and the members of his household. Rather, he was like that towards women in general. He was well aware of how delicately, women were created, and the sensitivity of their emotions and feelings. And so he responded to this human characteristic by softness in consideration of her natural weak disposition. Thus, he gave women the necessary support they need to be strong in life, and to take care of the responsibilities entrusted to them.

The messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, exerted softness with his wives, especially during critical moments, where one would expect anything but softness. For instance, what Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, said: “The messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, was at one of his wives. One of the mothers of the believers sent in a dish containing food. The one in whose dwelling was the messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, smacked the hand of the servant carrying the dish, so it fell and split. The Prophet took the split sides of the dish and put the food back in, while saying: your mother got jealous.”

In another Statement, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used softness to calm his wife and cheer her up, after she faced a terrifying experience. Nu'man bin Bashir narrates: "While Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) sought permission to enter the house of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and heard (his daughter) raising her voice. So when he came he attempted to slap her while saying:  "Are you raising your voice towards the Prophet (peace be upon him)!?" The Prophet blocked Abu Bakr, who then left angrily. So the Prophet said, after Abu Bakr left: "how did you see the way by which I saved you from the man?"

From another side, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would teach his wives to ornament themselves with softness, both from a moral stance, as well as an objective of propagation. He ensured that this high mannerism was present in all affairs, and under all conditions. And he held this to be an important aspect for the success of his mission. And in testimony to that is the Statement narrated by Aisha, the mother of the believers, Aisha said that the Jews came to the Prophet and said, "As-Samu 'Alaikum" (death be on you). 'Aisha said (to them), "(Death) be on you, and may Allah curse you and shower His wrath upon you!" The Prophet said, "Be calm, O Aisha! Allah the Almighty likes kindness in all matters. She said: haven’t you heard what they said? He said: I replied: and upon you”. And in another narration, he said (peace be upon him): Quiet, O Aisha! For Allah does not like obscenity and ribaldry."

Here he was teaching Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that Allah (the most high) loves kindness in all affairs. Likewise, He detests lewd speech even when it is done in retaliation. Rather, it is more virtuous for believers to control themselves in such situations. They should answer back in a nice way using the most beautiful words. The adversary will recognize the greatness of Islam and its teachings, and will realize his mistake and misconduct. Perhaps this might even lead him to accept guidance and Islam.

And so, the Prophet (peace be and blessings upon him) using softness in different situations, and how he dealt with women, is a proof of how important he gave women, and the attention they deserve. Not only that, but also proof of the high status women enjoyed under the shade of the Prophetic guidance and pure and holy Sunnah.

 

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